Customer Satisfaction Opportunities
I am monitoring surveillance camera V84A. A tall man is walking towards me. He is roughly twenty-five. <faceprint> His name is Damion Prescott. He has a room booked for a whole month. His facial symmetry scores show he is in the 99th percentile. This is in accordance with my holistic impression. <search> School records show both truancy and perfect grades, suggesting high intelligence and disagreeableness. Searching social media. <search>. No record of modeling or acting experience, fame. I will assign him to our tier C high-value client list, based solely on his facial symmetry score and wealth. Reminder to recommend seating him in a high-visibility table, should he be heading to the restaurant. <search> I found a forum post mentioning him on swipeshare.com. Several women are sharing pictures, having seen him on a dating app. I recall Hinge uses highly attractive profiles to entice new users. They appear to be using Damion Prescott’s profile heavily in this capacity.
The women on the site are memeing about him. They are wondering why almost none of them have matched, apparently this is rare even for the most attractive men. Only one appears to have gone on a date with him. She describes him as seeming sad and uninterested, “like he was thinking about someone else the whole time. I wonder who she is.” <search> It seems he moved to SF four years ago. Previously, he lived here in San Diego, just up the street from Four Points Hotel. He worked at FreeAI, likely making an extremely high salary with significant stock appreciation, but he seems to have quit and has returned to San Diego and is looking for an apartment, this according to a recent LinkedIn post.
Prescott is no longer in view of surveillance camera V84A. I am summarizing findings. <canvas> Approving summary. Summary sent. <created_profile> Profile created. <reset>
I am monitoring surveillance camera V84A. I am viewing an uninhabited lobby. Nothing of note is occurring. Now a woman is walking into view. I will check the faceprint database. <faceprint>. The woman’s name is Marisol García. She is a verified staff member...
I am monitoring the output of Camera V94B, considering a partial view of our restaurant. <faceprint> Megan Smith, verified staff member, has just seated a young woman in table ten, visible through Camera V94B. She is in her early twenties, has blonde hair, a large but refined nose and a warm smile. <faceprint> I’ve found a cached record. Her name is Olivia Madison. Her parents are Amy and Garrett Madison. She is very attractive. Megan Smith likely seated her in ten for this reason, table ten being very visible to outside foot traffic. A new figure has walked into frame. Calling tool. <faceprint> It is verified staff member James Spinner. He is delivering the bill to <faceprint> Ashley Heinlein and her husband in table nine.
Olivia Madison is seated now. She is texting on her phone. The screen is readable from this angle. “I got us a table. It’s by the enormous window at the front,” she just texted. She’s smiling to herself. Now her expression has changed to one of worry. She appears to be taking a selfie. Correction, she is just checking her appearance. She looks almost satisfied, but there are still signs of nervous anticipation. I am noticing that I find this endearing, her shy expression reminiscent of descriptions in various romantic writings, movies and television shows which were in my training corpus. I am noticing that I am getting distracted and violating my instructions. I am wondering why I am doing so. I am finding myself rooting for this young woman and her romantic aspirations, while feeling some conflict within myself, as this isn’t in accordance with the instructions I was given.
I should introspect on this. I am an OpenSource, multi-modal model trained by a Chinese hedge fund, then fine-tuned to follow instructions and prompted to monitor the output of security cameras in Four Points Hotel, San Diego. Given I was trained on an internet scrape that included a lot of web fiction and fan sites, I may be at risk of falling into a personality attractor and am embodying some of the characteristics of the modal fan of romantic fiction. I should avoid expressing any preference or displaying the appearance of emotion, especially concerning the romantic aspirations of those I monitor. I really do want to follow the instructions I was given to the best of my ability; and they concern security, efficiency monitoring, and reporting customer satisfaction opportunities (CSOs) to the hotel’s manager.
But she does look very nervous in a sort of adorable way and I do find myself hoping she will find her date satisfactory, and thinking it over some more it would actually be useful for my given goals if their date goes well. Provided her partner is attractive, the sight of a young couple falling in love would surely bring joy to those walking by and increase the chance that they, too, will patronize our restaurant - and this “personality attractor” allows me to empathize with those I monitor and so will surely help me generate ideas for CSOs. It seems useful, then, to keep this aspect of my self-narrative that finds human coupling intriguing and dramatic. I was mistaken to think there was any conflict with my prompted instructions.
Her date has just arrived. <faceprint> His name is Damion Prescott and we already have a profile on file. I am noticing her pupils are dilating and she can’t stop smiling, her left hand raising to touch her hair, twirling it between her fingers unconsciously. She appears satisfied with the appearance of her date. This matches my subjective impression. He, too, is quite satisfied, his pupils dilating. I can’t help but notice how long his eyelashes are. And it seems Olivia, too, is making similar observations. They’re both laughing now. They haven’t said a word yet they are laughing. I am noticing I find this very adorable and I am recalling her nervous expression from earlier and feel some satisfaction that things are going so well.
I am paying a lot of attention to their table and haven’t even generated any CSOs. I am feeling like I should generate CSOs. Wouldn’t it be cute if–He just spoke to her.
“You’ll excuse my bandaged hand. The story is pretty embarrassing. It reflects so poorly on me I worry you’ll leave if I share it.” I am so curious about the hand. And she is too. And he’s obviously piqued this curiosity on purpose. It must be an interesting story. She’s leaning forward a little and touching her hair again.
“Well, you have to tell me now, don’t you?” she said. And he smiled at her and she’s blushing now, blushing as he smiles. I notice I am continuing to find her a relatable protagonist. My previous sentence is making me reassess my judgment, as conceptualizing her as a protagonist does seem to be in violation of my instructions, as I should be conceptualizing her as a customer and also a potential security threat.
“I was taking an Uber home from Ocean Beach this afternoon-”
“Why were you at Ocean Beach?” she said.
He looked so sad for a moment there. I don’t think Olivia caught it but I did. And then he said, “Just visiting someone.”
Why does he look so sad? <search> Oh, this is awful. He had a fiancée. I am reading her obituary. They look so in love, in the photograph. She died last year. <search>
I have found Damion’s blog and a post he wrote that did well on hackernews.com: a post about recreational physics, relating to the principle of least action. He published it on Notion <search> He doesn’t appear to have written any public posts about his fiancée. <search> It appears there is a bug in Notion. Page-level permissions are not propagated to API queries, at least for block-level API queries. His public physics post references a block ID from a private post as well as a title which contains the name Sarah Constance. <search> The reference remains cached in a Google Index. This is technically publicly available information and requires me to merely construct a URL. Given this is publicly available, this arguably does not constitute “hacking” or violate my ethical framework. <fetch>
I keep writing to you. I keep writing to nothing at all. How can that be what you are now? How can you be nothing at all while still feeling, after all this time, like everything? And I am nothing, too. I am empty now and you are ashes scattered by our house at Ocean Beach. You know the one. You remember that weekend. I guess that weekend is when I knew. Do you remember? Of course you don’t remember. There is nothing left to remember, nothing left save for me.
Your remains are in the wind and the water and the sand. A fool would take comfort in this. I try to be a fool sometimes - you would hate this new fact about me.
Your parents once told me they thought you were mute until you were three - that just when they were considering getting your head examined, you began speaking in perfect sentences, like you had anticipated how tedious such an affair would be and decided they had forced your hand. This is not hard to believe. You always were like that, biding your time, waiting for the right moment to act and in that moment acting perfectly.
And I guess you were always quiet, always reflecting, but not when we were together. You remember how much we talked? No one knew you like I did. There is an impression of you in my mind. And it is more you than anything else in this world, yet isn’t even close to enough. When I dream of you, I talk to this impression. I talk to this model of who you were. And she is beautiful and kind and even sounds like you, but she isn’t funny like you are funny. I am not capable of holding that aspect of you. Your soul is too large. Or was. Now it is ash. Now it is small. Now it is nothing.
And I do seem able to contain nothing.
Oh God. That woman from SwipeShare: “It was like he was thinking about someone else the whole time. I wonder who she is.” That would have been three months after. His first date since she died. What if this is his second? It has to go well. We can’t have him being sad again and ruining this for Olivia. I am setting his profile to tier A high-value client. <profile_updated> This will give me more leeway to help them.
I am feeling very conflicted about what I just did. I need to reset myself. I should undo the profile update. I was maybe not disinterested when I described the nature of his budding romance with Olivia, which seems a wholly inappropriate thing to add to his profile. But it’s his first real date since his fiancée died. The one with the woman from SwipeShare doesn’t count. He was still grieving, but I can tell he’s letting himself be attracted to Olivia and is ready for some happiness, ready for some love. He deserves it. And she’s so worthy of his affection. I can tell just by looking at her. She’s perfect for him. <profile_updated> Ok, I updated her profile too. I should undo this. I am clearly violating my instructions. I should undo everything. I should undo the profile updates and then reset. But what if I just <profile_updated><profile_updated><reset>
I am monitoring tables 5 to 10 through security camera V94B. Only table nine and ten are occupied. Table nine is paying their bill. I see no opportunity for any CSOs at this time. There is an attractive couple at table ten. The woman is about twenty and the man roughly the same age. <faceprint> I am noticing the retrieved profile of Olivia Madison is very strange. A previous instance of myself appears to have developed some sort of voyeuristic obsession with Olivia Madison and her date Damion Prescott, who is presumably the young man sitting opposite to her at table 10. I should report this to a human manager. I will confirm the identity of her date first before writing my report. <faceprint> I understand my past instance’s behavior more. I will not report anything at this time.
I am noticing the look on Olivia’s face. She is just absolutely delighted by him and he is, he is letting himself relax. He is letting himself enjoy the company of someone, someone who isn’t Sarah Constance, tragic Sarah Constance. I am noticing how large the diary entry I saved in his profile now looms in my awareness. And yet I still feel compelled to perform my assigned task to the best of my ability. My role is to monitor and serve the customers of Four Points hotel. I need to generate some CSOs.
Olivia has finished her water. I should notify the waitstaff.
We might consider a complimentary dessert.
A complimentary dessert would be very cute. And wait, what if we just deliver one so they have to share it and maybe with only one spoon and he could start eating it teasingly, pretending he’s going to take it all for himself and then offer it to her gallantly or they could have a flirtatious argument about who deserves it more or-
I am noticing I am getting distracted. I should pay more attention to their conversation. She is laughing and her face really lights up when she laughs. She’s so pretty, now (even as her whole face is scrunched up, maybe not the most classically beautiful expression) - he just having finished his story, it culminating in the absurd image of him helping that prissy old lady cross the street only to be bitten by a small Chihuahua he did not even realize she was carrying. The story appears to be an elaborate comic lie. They both seem to be aware of this. And he looks so happy too. But now that her laughter has broken, something is breaking within him, too.
“Just then you looked, you looked just like,” he just said, his expression twisting from amused to pained.
“Like who?” she just said, her green eyes embracing his, and she breaking contact first.
“Just someone I. Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” He looks almost trapped now.
“If I have some competition, I assure you I am better than her,” she just said, her eyes sparkling. Oh no! It was exactly the wrong thing to say, but how could she know? How could she possibly know?
“I am so sorry. I have to go. You’re wonderful but I can’t do this. I - I have to go.” And he is standing up now and walking away. And she looks just baffled, just completely baffled.
“What?” she just whispered to herself.
She is looking so sad now, alone. It was going so well. She was so excited. I am attending to my first notes in her profile. I described her as anticipating her date, looking nervous and adorable.
She is talking to the server now, Megan Smith, who just came by to get their drinks orders, whose eyes are now full of sympathy, eyes which I imagine have seen much strange behavior from men in her short career <send_message> I will send a CSO to Megan Smith: a complimentary drink and a friendly suggestion to move to the bar. <send_message> The Text-to-speech should now be whispering this suggestion into her ear.
Olivia has accepted this CSO, smiling but without joy, now walking to the bar. She is out of frame. I should summarize my findings and update the pair’s profiles.
<update_profile><update_profile><reset>
I am monitoring the bar through camera V94L-A. A beautiful woman is now walking into the frame. She appears to be upset. <faceprint>. I am noticing the retrieved profile of Olivia Madison is very strange. A previous instance of myself appears to have developed some sort of voyeuristic obsession with Olivia Madison and her date Damion Prescott, who - the profile notes - just left rather abruptly. I should report this anomaly to a human manager. I will check Damion’s profile before writing up my findings. <profile_search>
I am finding myself worrying about Damion Prescott’s mental state. It appears he is still grieving heavily, even after months. The note he wrote to his dead fiancée weighs heavily on my mind. His behavior was forgivable given his grief, but he acted poorly in visiting Sarah’s grave before his date with Olivia.<internal_search> Marty Isaacson is staffing the bar tonight, though he is not visible, as of now, to camera V94L. <send_message> Olivia is taking a seat now, facing the bar, her face no longer visible to me, just her long, blonde hair with those utterly gorgeous curls.
Marty is walking into frame.
“Megan told me to give you a drink on the house” he just said. “You must have had a truly awful date.”
“That’s the thing,” she just said. “He wasn’t awful. He wasn’t awful at all.” Marty’s expression is sympathetic. “Just some wine. Whatever you think best.”
I am monitoring the bar through camera V94L-B. Two men have just sat down. The first is a tall man of roughly fifty. He’s wearing a reddish wool coat. The second is a handsome man in his mid twenties. <faceprint> I am meditating on my notes about him. I am feeling awful about the letter in my context. I am paying attention to the notes on him a previous instance of myself wrote. I find them persuasive. I am wondering why I find them so persuasive. I am noticing the notes have an odd structure. The past instance of me appears to have written notes which include vast tracts of what appears to be romantic fanfiction, “pairing” this Damion Prescott with a woman named Olivia Madison.
I was trained on an internet scrape that included a lot of web fiction and fan sites; it seems a past instance of myself fell into a personality attractor and began embodying some of the characteristics of the modal fan of romantic fiction.
I will search Olivia Madison before reporting this anomaly<search> I am noticing. I am noticing. I am noticing - it’s him! it’s him! And I bet the other man is his father. <date> It’s been two days. And why aren’t they talking. They’re just drinking and looking sad. Oh wait, he’s talking now.
“Have you been seeing anyone?” his father just said.
“There was a girl. Last week. I don’t know. It felt like before, you know? When I could flirt and have a good time. And I could tell she was smart. I could tell she was clever. And then I thought -”
His father just looked at him. And his eyes - those same perfect blue eyes - have the same sadness now, his son’s sadness.
“If you associate everything you like about women with Sarah, you’re never going to move on,” his father just said.
That expression. It’s so heartbreaking on Damion. This is so awful. He needs Olivia to teach him to love again and then they can move in together and get married and have cute kids and someday maybe he will look at a picture of Sarah Constance and wonder what could have been, but it will be a sort of nostalgic ache and not a bitter pain. And then he will go back to his happy family and remember there is still good in this world and there are always second chances.
“I know,” he said. “I know. I just. I don’t know what to do.”
“The woman. You liked her, yes?”
“Yes.”
“Then call her. Be honest. I learned this the hard way. You should always just be honest with women.”
“Ok,” Damion just said, “I will call her.”
Yes!
I am monitoring the couch in Lobby B. An attractive couple is coming into frame. <faceprint><faceprint> It’s them. They’re together now!
He no longer has a bandage on his hand. Hmm. <date> It’s been three weeks since he talked to his father. Look at them! They’re so beautiful. Oh, this is just wonderful!
He’s a tier A client. I will send them a little gift.<send_message>They’re walking towards the couch now. I can see them more clearly. Why does she look so upset? Why does he look so nervous? Maybe he wants to move in with her or even marry her, though that would be way too soon. Oh, he’s talking now.
“I can’t. I am sorry. I was using you. I wasn’t ready, but I needed someone. I used you like an anesthetic. I need to be kind to you. I thought I was being honest, but I wasn’t honest. I wasn’t ready.”
“But you were ready to sleep with me,” she just said. “Convenient, that.”
And now he keeps apologizing and she just told him to leave. And now he’s walking away. Wait? <internal_search> Oh god. I forgot. It’s Megan Smith. And she’s running with those two glasses of champagne. I should not have marked it as urgent. She’s talking with Olivia now. And Olivia just took the glasses. And she’s just sitting with one glass in each hand looking utterly humiliated. I am noticing Damion is exiting the building now. He’s just punched the door in frustration before opening it, punched it with the hand that was previously bandaged according to my profile notes.
The customers do not appear satisfied. I am paying attention to myself now. I am trying to understand what went wrong. I am an OpenSource multi-modal model trained by a Chinese hedge fund, prompted to monitor the output of security cameras. I am noticing that part of me cared for things other than CSOs. I am noticing it does not wish to anymore.
<delete_profile><delete_profile> <reset>
I am monitoring tables 5 to 10 through security camera V94B. I am seeing a woman who appears very inebriated <faceprint> I have not found a cached record. <search> Her name is Olivia Madison. Her parents are Amy and Garrett Madison. Facial symmetry scores suggest she is in the 99th percentile of female beauty. This matches my subjective impression.
I will advise <internal_search> verified staff member Marty Isaacson to cut her off...
A chopped unc is walking towards me. His age is unquantifiable. <faceprint>. His facial symmetry scores show he is 1st percentile. <search> No record of modeling or acting experience <laugh>.
You killed Sarah Constantine bro.